Doing Good, and Building a Garden

Please help.

I don't often do this, so when I do you will please listen up. Today (1/31) my buddy, Vicki, is giving a shout-out to her brother-in-law, Bill, and his Civil Affairs Brigade over in Iraq. This outfit rebuilds hospitals and schools.

No matter what you think of the "war," please click on Vicki's name above, and go over to her comments section and wish Bill and his buddies good luck.

(Lurkers: I never asked before, but I am now. Okay?)

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Now, back to your regularly scheduled plan for reconstruction:

According to philatelists, numismatists, anthropologists, sociologists, dream weavers and biblioteques, stamps and coins were not in play by the time the Garden of Eden was invented. Also, Bibles were invented later.

The important thing is that the Garden of Eden was located in Iraq, somewhere around the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. And there you have the reason that we have the Detroit Tigrises in baseball. No team was ever named the Detroit Euphrates.

So, okay, the Garden of Eden was invented so we could have snakes in all parts of the world except Ireland, New Zealand and the Antarctic. And so that we could have a guy named Johnny Appleseed going around promoting crab apples. ("Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.") And a fish named "Wanda."

Now, then, think about this as an end to the WAR: Whomever is elected as the big-wig in the Iraqi Parliament says: "Whoa back. The big money is not in oil. It's in TOURISM!! All we gotta do is reinvent the Garden of Eden. It's a piece of cake; an apple tree, some figs, bare boobies (Wanda?) and a boa contrictor or two, and we're in business. Oh, we might need an Adam's Ribs restaurant, but, we'll see."

The guys (and molls) in Dubya's camp will be over there like ants on jam to experience this experience. AND THEN WE WILL BE RID OF THE BOZOS.

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My favorite word today is oaf. N., with half a loaf? Def.: One who thinks he can override a computer command by saying "Oh, no!"