Do You Remember When I Was Funny?

Well, it's all over but the pouting. I did not become one of the 10 finalists for "Most Humorous B**g" in the BoB Awards program. Like many of you, I figured I was a shoo-in. I have written 341 posts, all of them funny. But, apparently, none of them was humorous.

The last time I was a contestant for anything, it was for the title of "Most Well-Adjusted Baby." Here is the picture that got me into the finals. BUT FOR SOME DAMN REASON I DID NOT WIN!!!

So I am used to being disappointed. I checked out the 10 finalists for Most Humorous B**g, and discovered the real reason I did not make the finals: 8 out of 10 of them used the "F" bomb in their writing. One writer uses it in every headline he writes. You might have noticed that I have given up on the Bomb because it has lost its shock value and it isn't really a very nice word. "Poo" is a nice word. So is "ka-ka". And when kids start flinging this stuff around it is pretty funny (but apparently not humorous). You see a lot of this on the Internet, if you read Mommy and Daddy B**gs. Some of which are instructive, and often funny, but obviously not humorous.

Even my damn cat is peeved that I didn't make the finals! Well, another reason I didn't make it is because I might have been perceived as a "professional b**gger." See, I get more than 30 comments and almost 200 visits EVERY DAY (vox populi). Of the 10 BoB finalists, only one topped that. So, the reason I didn't make the finals is BECAUSE I AM TOO DAMN POPULAR!!

I have been shunned. (This is something Jehovah's Witnesses do to each other to express their displeasure with one of their number. I sure wish I had known before now that I was a Witness.) But at least I didn't get the Hester Prynne award. I'm saving my chest space to sell it on eBay.

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite word today is wife. N., also known as SAHM, and/or breadwinner, laundress, cook, etc., while her husband sits on his fat ass. Def.: A thing that is not averse to asking for directions.