Flowers That Bloom in the Spring, Tra La!

There's bound to be another "blonde" joke in here somewhere. (This "test" is courtesy of Plum Crazy J&J's Mom.)

Going on the offensive:

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the new dog is still excited to see you.

What’s the difference between a northern fairy-tale and a southern fairy-tale?
A northern fairy-tail begins “Once upon a time”. A southern fairy-tale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit...”

(As usual, don’t blame this on me. It’s Judy’s fault.)

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The year’s best headlines of 2005:

“Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter”
“Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers”
“Miners Refuse to Work After Death”
“War Dims Hope for Peace”
“Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures”
“Man Struck by Lightning; Faces Battery Charge”
“New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group”
“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

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My favorite word today is perplexed. Adj., what the hell? Def.: The slight frown on the face of someone who is examining your music collection.