See, we used to laugh and laugh when somebody with St. Vitus Dance (Sydenham Chorea) would go into their act. Then we found out it's a form of rheumatic fever, and it wasn't funny anymore.
We called gout "the rich man's disease," and laughed because "he is getting what's coming to him for eating all that rich food." Then we found out this is a form of arthritis, and that wiped the grins right off.
And we'd say of the Olmecs, "They musta had a recessive gene for mongolism." And we'd tease kids afflicted with what is now known as Down's Syndrome "for having the big head." But this is serious business, and we discovered there is no smileage in this disease, either.We teased Michael Jackson about grabbing his nuts all the time, until we discovered he simply had tinea cruris -- jock itch.
So, as usual, it has been left to Ol' Hoss to invent a disease that will be pleasant to have and we can make jokes about it, maybe. So here it is:
The Permanent Tan That Doesn't Make You Look Like a Cuban. I would think there would be a lot of call for a disease like this. Lots of people don't like the way they look along about this time of year, and they think about going to Florida to get some sunshine. Florida doesn't need any more people. Just pick up a dose of Hoss's new tanning disease and you'll be all set for the winter.
I will be sorting through some genes in test tubes to figure out how to do this. In the meantime, you can help me out with the name. For some reason, while developing this disease, I remembered the name of a former professional tennis player, named Roscoe Tanner. So why don't we name my new disease after him?
Good idea? I thought so, too. So, Roscoe it is.
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My favorite word today is boredom. N., nothing on TV. Def.: The kind of disease cured by reading Ol' Hoss's definitions.
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