"And if that wasn't enough I started my period and I didn't have any tampons so I had to send hubby to the store. LOL. And then they always embarrass him by saying 'Price Check Tampons on Aisle 5.' ROFLMAO. My periods are really messy. Are yours?LOL."
Sometimes you can rescue a badly written piece on your b**g with a clever cartoon stolen off the Internet, like this one. You know what the sign says? It says, "Is the Pope Catholic?"So, anyway, here are some other Bulwer-Lytton type b**gs that I am hoping not to see:
FEELIN' THE BLUES
"I feel so crappy today. Yesterday both the kids vomited in the front room, and then the dog heaved on my grandmother's cross-stitch. I am probably going to be late to work because SOMEBODY has to clean all this up, and you know who THAT is! LOL. I guess I don't have a lot to say today, but thanks for dropping in. I'll try to visit your site on a non-vomit day."
THOSE KIDS!
"You just can't believe what my 5-year-old, Percival, dropped on me today! LOL. We were at Wally World, just ambling along. We came to the sports section, and there was a man putting a couple of basketballs in his cart. And Percival (he just cracks me up) said, 'Look, Mom, at the guy with the big balls.' And I was all ROFLMAO."
ASKING FOR HITS
"I DO appreciate you who comment on a regular basis, all eight of you. But I know there are lots more lurkers who are reading my pieces regularly and don't let me know who you are. So, to get to know you better, I am posing a question: Would you comment if you knew I am just as horny as you?"
THE WEATHER REPORT (No. 2 Device-for-Getting-Hits)
"It is so cold here today. I thought we were getting some 'global warming,' but it hasn't happened here yet. Our temperature is 5 degrees F. What is yours?"
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My favorite word today is scenic vista. N., I see you! Def.: The best room in your house from which you can see the neighbor lady undressing.
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