The Principle of the Thing

Our friend Freud observed: "The pleasure principle drives one to seek pleasure and to avoid pain." Now then, here we have a sky diver obtaining pleasure from a giddy drop through the clouds. It appears, however, that he is in for some pain. So I guess this is not a very good example of the principle.

Let's try another, the "Peter Principle": "In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence." Now this is pretty meaty, but also not foolproof. See, lots of times, the employee at the bottom of the food chain is incompetent to begin with; there is no "rising" to it. (For examples, see "Help Desk.")

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Let's face it. I have gotten terribly lazy; I would say "indolent" if I had any thought you wouldn't have to look it up.

Recently a lady suggested I sign up with www.cafepress.com and market a bunch of T-shirts, magnets, cups and pins under the "Ol' Hoss" franchise so I could Make My Pile. I could figure out some nifty slogans and put 'em on these merchandises: "Ol' Hoss Stepped in It Here"; "Ol' Hoss's Dehydrated Phlegm"; "Ol' Hoss's Demagnetized Magnets," and "Ol' Hoss and I Have Piles" and the like. But that would require me to work. I am currently opposed to working.

I need to do my taxes. I will do them tomorrow.

I need to do my dishes. I will do them tomorrow.

I need to change my sheets. I will do it tomorrow.

I have some bills to pay. Screw that.

Every month the government sends me a Social Security check in return for not working. It's too bad you fools who work haven't tumbled to this.

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My favorite word today is wishy-washy. Adj., and tumble dry. Def.: Descriptive of you attending a ho-hum movie you are too lazy to abandon and not tired enough to sleep through.