Did Cavemen Really Live in Caves?*

Lame joke:

Question: What's the difference between a rabbit and a hare?

Answer: You can't trim your nose rabbit.

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Lamer joke:

First boy: "Golly, you know my Dad works 12 hours a day to give us a nice home and good food to eat? And Mom slaves away all day cooking and cleaning and sewing? Now I'm worried."

Second boy: "Why is that?"

First boy: "What if they try to escape?"

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Back when I was going to church, I could never quite get a handle on "The Trinity." This is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost (or Spirit, in some denominations). Now, it appears, neither can the Presbyterian Church.

In a new paper stressing theological imagination, the church appears ready to go all non-gender on us. The new trinity, it suggests, ought to be called "Rainbow, Ark and Dove," or "Giver, Gift and Giving," or "Lover, Beloved and Love," or "Fire That Consumes, Sword That Divides and Storm That Melts Mountains."

But this is the best one: "Compassionate Mother, Beloved Child and Live-Giving Womb."

Dear Mrs. God, Hallowed be thy name...

And what the hell is a "Holy Spirit," anyway? Is that 80 proof, or 100?

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My favorite word today is cynic. N., no, never. Def.: One who smells flowers and suspects he is in a funeral home.

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(*This is just a headline. It doesn't have anything to do with the material here.)