There's No Pun Like an Old Pun

Three vampires go into a bar. The first vampire says, "I vould like a blood." The second vampire says, "I vould like a blood." But the third vampire says, "I vould like a plasma."

So the bartender says, "Let me get this straight: You want two bloods and a blood light?"

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On her way home from the grocery store, the little old lady stops at Nathan Hale's Used Cars, and she is waited on by Nathan himself.

They look for awhile, and finally she decides she wants a Plymouth Fury, but not white like the one she is looking at.

"Well, what color would you like? Red, I have one of those. I can get you one in blue. What will it be?"

The lady reaches into her bag, pulls out an ear of corn, strips the husk and says, "There, I want a car that color."

"I'm sorry, ma'am," says Nathan. "But the Fury doesn't come in that color. You can have red, black, white, blue, almost anything else."

This severely hacks the woman off, for she wants what she wants. She is so peeved she starts throwing vegetables at poor old Nathan, who runs for his life.

Another customer sees this and asks the bookkeeper what was going on. The bookkeeper says, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn."

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Pretty soon it will be Sunday, when God rests and everybody else has to play golf.

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My favorite word today is jury. N., 12 man women good and true. Def.: Persons chosen to determine who has the better lawyer. --Robert Frost.