Short Shrift Saturday #28

Here I am in the country of Texas enjoying the hell out of the little ones. Tisha and Walt's kids -- Lucas and Carli -- are 6 and 8. I had forgotten how much fun little kids can have and be.

This is Tisha's 37th birthday. She is being much loved.

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Two women friends had gone for a night out. Both were very faithful, loving wives, but they had gotten a little over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she just took off her panties and used those. Her friend, however, was wearing an expensive pair of panties and didn't want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she wiped with that.

The next day, one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet, innocent wife was still in bed, hung over. So he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties."

"That's nothing," said the other husband. "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said: 'From all of us at the Fire Station...We'll never forget you.'"

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My favorite word today is conciousness. N., are you in there? Def.: That annoying period between naps.