Here are a couple of stories from my new buddy Peskie, who is a brother to Ozguru."I'm getting a divorce," said Jack to his friend Bill. "My wife hasn't spoken to me for six months."
Bill thought for a moment, then replied: "Just make sure you know what you're doing, Jack. Good wives like that are hard to find."
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A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop whjere two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why, what for?" says the other. "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him a damn bit of good."
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A very unattractive, nasty woman walks into Wal-Mart, beating on her two kids. The Wal-Mart greeter asks, "Are they twins?"
The ugly woman says, "Hell, no. The oldest one is 9 and the younger one is 7. Why? Do you really think they look alike?"
"Oh, no," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."
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My favorite phrase today is in conclusion. Adj., I knew this would come to an end. Def.: The audience's alarm clock.
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