Back in the Saddle Again

I had a nice day yesterday. Went up to the second floor of the Old Folks' Home and played a little pool with some of the inmates. The table has a bad slant to the left, and I told the other guys that it must have been built by Democrats. Heh heh. Nobody else laughed. We need a pencil sharpener.

What we got today is More About Me:

47. When I was in high school I had to write a 1,500-word essay. I asked my teacher for a topic. He said, "Write about youth in Asia." That sounded like an awful big topic to me, there bein' so many different kinds of kids over there -- Russkies, Wild Turkeys, Burma Roads, Mandarin Oranges. So I wrote about the Great Depression. I think I was in college before I found out about "euthenasia."

48. Now I live in the only state where a form of euthenasia is practiced. It's called Death With Dignity. If you have a lot of pain and you're within 6 months of going tits up, you can get a prescription that will have you holding a lily on your chest within 30 minutes. Over 200 people have opted out of this vale of tears via barbiturate in 7 years. I think it's a good plan. Why the hell not? I plan to reincarnate anyway.

49. I have learned to be very tolerant of other people. My daughter reads Tarot cards on the Internet. It's phony baloney but I can't help it if people wanna be believers. I might have been crazy once myself -- I have this vague feeling that I was once reincarnated as Charles Manson. This is why I always vote against graffiti written in blood.

50. I also knew some gypsy boys who had crystal balls. Hoo boy, they hated to get kicked in the nuts.

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My favorite word today is two words in one: ransack. Those are hard to come by.

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My good buddy Shane is an Englisher, for which he has apologized over and over so we've gotten quite close. He occasionally gives advice based on your Zodiac. Here's the latest for me, a Libra:

"Convince someone with good self-esteem there's nothing wrong with them."

All of his advisories are fun like that. Go get yours.

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Bret says:

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.