Things Are Always Slow on Sunday

Some people on the Internet are funnier than others. I'm always on the lookout for fun people, like:

Carmi Levy, who asked people for examples of words they wish they could take back. One woman told him: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three little kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

Steve wrote this: The chorizo was silt in swirls like sand grit, scraping loose the ancient wads of chewing gum and stray embedded cartilage flakes that snuck in as unidentified ingredients in the relish dog you bought at the convenient market two years ago.

Steve also gave us this: I'm so relaxed my shit is sky-diving out in small little recreational clusters, enjoying the novelty of getting out without being pushed or squeezed.

The inestimable Latigo Flint, wrote: My shin collided with one of those tall propane heaters so hard that I tasted marrow.

Nobody ought to be able to avoid reading gems like this.

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Ol' Hoss is the No. 1 hit on a Google search for "tatoo design snake London." However, I do not do tatoo designs for snakes, whangs or dicks, in London or anywheres else. They can take me off the list.

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My favorite word today is laudanum (laud-'n-'em). n., v. old soccermomism. Def.: Praise for the other team.

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The Belmont horse race, the third leg in the Triple Crown, is coming up. I've got two predictions from Racetrack Lenny. Unless I'm mistaken, I think he's saying it will be Banana by a bunch, or Cauliflower by a head.