Maxine Solves an Economic Conundrum

We oldsters living in Oldster Peoples' Homes have Maxine Knowsall as our candidate for President. The campaign has been a little slow to get off the ground; in fact, if you Google Maxine Knowsall you get taken right to the site of Old Horsetail Snake the First, famous internet writer. I thought Maxine would have her own site by now. But funds have been hard to come by.

Maxine was counting on support from the Catholic Church, knowin' how much they like to see women in leadership positions. But the Catholics are busy goin' bankrupt, so that's out.

Here's Maxine's latest position paper:

"Outsourcing: The United States can prosper by continuing to send jobs to India and The Philippines. All foreigners accepting U.S. jobs will automatically become U.S. citizens so they can pay Income, Social Security and Unemployment taxes. This will allow us to keep unemployed Americans on the dole, to which so many aspire."

Democrats and Republicans will be mimicking this, but the dice has been cast, and those do-nothings has rolled snake eyes.

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Somebody once said that since Ol' Hoss was not elected as a state symbol by the Oregon Legislature, he should be named the State Motto. Ol' Hoss says to hisself: "Hoss, there's gold in that there vein." So I have not only rewritten the Oregon State Motto to suit mineself, but all the other states' mottos as well. Just a little payback for treatin' Hoss ill.

Alabama: "We dare defend our rights." Hoss says: "We share Depends and tights."
Alaska: "North to the Future." Hoss: "But Bring the Oil South."
Arizona: "God enriches." Hoss: "How come so many people are poor?"
Arkansas: "The people rule." Hoss: "The people rue the day that this place became a state."
California: "I have found it." Hoss: "Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep."
Colorado: "Nothing Without Providence." Hoss: "The NCAA Tournament isn't worth watching unless a Rhode Island school gets into the Final Four."
Connecticut: "He Who Transplanted Still Sustains." Hoss: "Except Christian Barnaard is dead."
Delaware: "Liberty and Independence." Hoss: "Two Cities in Missouri."
District of Colombia: "Justice for All." Hoss: "No person is safe when Congress is in session."
Florida: "In God We Trust." Hoss: But We Hope Alan Greenspan Doesn't Die Soon."

We will get to Oregon eventually.

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According to the English Oxford Dictionary, cockamamie is not a word. It is, too. Here's the definition: "What Dwight did to Mrs. Eisenhower."

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Satchel Paige said:

Avoid fried meats. They angry up the blood. Jangle gently while you move. And don't look back; something might be gaining on you.