Hoss Brings You More Mate Stottos

In the realm of favorite words, today I plan to commit a numbing hebetation.*

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57. In high school I discovered Colonel Stoopnagle, who made his fame switching the initial letter or letters of words in a form called "Spoonerisms," such as "sisty uglers" for "ugly sisters." His fame was based on a real-life person, William Archibald Spooner, a teacher at Oxford who died in 1930. Stoopnagle brought us such things as the fairy tale "The Pea Little Thrigs," and a homily: "A mool and his funny are poon sarted."

Those were all invented. It wasn't so with Dean Spooner, who had a habit of actually fouling the English language, once complaining that a student had "hissed my mystery lecture." He also told his students: "In the sermon I have just preached, whenever I said Aristotle I meant St. Paul."

But I best remember his all-time classic, a toast of Queen Victoria: "Three cheers for our queer old dean."

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I need a new map. BooHunch points out that I forgot Maine in my list of state mottos. So that's where we shall begin:

Maine: "I Direct." Hoss: "What does the back seat driver say?"
Pennsylvania: "Virtue, Liberty and Independence." Hoss: "People are quite virtuous in the Missouri cities of Liberty and Independence."
Rhode Island: "Hope." Hoss: "Faith and Charity."
South Carolina: "Prepared in Mind and Resources." Hoss: "If you run across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined, Be Prepared."
South Dakota: "Under God the People Rule." Hoss: "All the Good Stuff Comes From Heaven."
Tennessee: :Agriculture and Commerce." Hoss: "Sour Mash Goes by UPS."
Texas: "Friendship." Hoss: "Pucker up, y'all."
Utah: "Industry." Hoss: "Polygamy on an Assembly Line."
Vermont: "Freedom and Unity." Hoss: "Just another word for nuthin' left to lose."
Virginia: "Thus always to tyrants." (Uh, Virginia, I think it's time you update. How about: "Home of Chewbacca"?
Washington: "Bye and Bye." Hoss: "Later, gator."
West Virginia: "Mountaineers are always free." Hoss: "You people in the cities are fucked."
Wisconsin: "Forward." Hoss: "Guard and Center."
Wyoming: "Equal Rights." Hoss: "It is also right to use sugar."
American Samoa: "In Samoa, God Is First." Hoss: "Who's on Second?"
Puerto Rico: "John Is His Name." Hoss: "In the Navy, Head Is Its Name."

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Karen says:

Most of the stuff people worry about isn't going to happen.

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*"The state of being dull." --archaic